Livingloud - The Bowmanblog

Remembering Sam Carlisle

It has been a heartbreaking weekend here in Saintfield, as we lost a man who has impacted and touched so many of our lives:  Sam Carlisle.  As my good friend Rob put it, “My dear Sam, I don’t know many people who love others like you do.” 

For the years that we had the privilege of serving and leading a youth ministry in Saintfield, Sam was one of our dedicated volunteers, he and Hilda were terrific supporters, they were a source of constant encouragement and friendship. Sam was a master of loving putdowns, he made sure your feet were on the ground, and your head was out of the clouds, but your heart would always be lifted!  Sam was in it for the long haul, he outlasted us, as God called us elsewhere, he faithfully served on.  I admired his commitment to the youth work and young people in First Saintfield and the local community.    

There were no airs or graces with Sam, you got what you saw, and he didn’t care what anyone thought, I always loved that about him.  He was completely comfortable in his own skin, no pretence, he was authentic and genuine, the real deal!  He wasn’t perfect, who is?  He was Sam!  He was fiercely loyal, and wise and he would tell you what he thought whether you asked him to or not, and most of the time he was right.  When Sam spoke I listened.   And of course, he had a heart as big as he was. 

I’ve thought a lot about him lately, he has not been well, he has fought hard and long but that fight is over now.  Unfortunately with the Covid-19 situation and the restrictions and social distancing it makes times like this even harder.  We can’t say goodbye like we wish we could. We can’t celebrate his life and give thanks for a life well lived in the way that we wish we could.  We can’t gather around Hilda, Holly and Ben like we wish we could to remember, to weep and to laugh... there would have to be laughter, Sam would want that and lets be honest if Ben is about laughter is what you are sure to get.  Ah, the grief is hard, but it seems that bit harder because we can’t say goodbye.  We can’t gather to worship God and give thanks because our lives were all the better because Sam was in them.  Hilda, Holly, and Ben I hope you know how much we loved him. Thank you for sharing him with us all. 

Today, I’ve been looking back at our time of youth ministry in Saintfield, looking at some photographs and videos remembering some wonderful memory makers with Sam.  Messy Fun Nights, Camp in Scotland, Mad Weekends.  These photos are how I will best remember him, and oh how I cherish those memories now.  This was Sam, always surrounded by young people, Ben ever by his side.  He was always at the heart of things, the centre of craic, the source of encouragement.  So this is my tribute to Sam, my thank you.  It is woefully inadequate, he deserves so much more.  I just want to acknowledge how thankful I am for the grace, belief and commitment he showed to me, it went above and beyond the call of duty.  I’m thankful for how he had my back, always!  I’ve missed him the last few years, I’m deeply sorry I never got to see more of him.  I’m heartbroken that I won’t be on the receiving end of those trademark Sam Carlisle putdowns anymore. 

Here is what I would want to say to him tonight. 

In God’s unique and mysterious way, he called you and you listened.  Maybe there were times when you wondered why am I doing this?  Why am I giving up all this time for young people and youth work?  If you did, it never showed, and your young people, their families, and your church and fellow leaders, like me, were thankful–even when we didn’t say it.

Sam thank you for saying yes, for listening and following God’s lead.

One of the things I loved most and valued most about Sam was his commitment to stand up for those the church wants to forget—and often ignores.  Sam was one of the greatest advocates for young people I’ve ever known.  Just a glance at the comments on his Facebook page the last couple of days from young people down through the years and it is pretty clear they knew that in Sam they had a fierce ally with a gentle heart. They knew he was in their corner, he believed in them and he was prepared to fight for them.   

Some people in the church don’t like the troublemakers, the noisy, the messy, the impulsive, and those who think differently.   The truth is there are times we actually get in trouble for reaching those types of teenagers. They don’t use the right language. They don’t seem to respect the property, they play their music too loud. They sometimes do really stupid things and they never seem to think about the consequences.  You know the type of teenager I’m talking about… right?  Some of us were those types of teenagers!   

Well lets be honest, how are these types of young people treated? Some people will say, “Why are those kids coming to our church?” Well those kids are curious about Jesus, and they need to be in the church.  They need to know and feel that they belong.  Sam had a heart for those kids, for all kids, but especially for those kids the church often forgets.  He wanted them to know they had a place to belong. 

Sam I want to say thank you for not ignoring those young people.  I think you really understood Jesus’ words, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call sinners, not those who think they’re already good enough” (Mark 2:17, NLT)

Adults often say, “Teenagers are the church of the future.” I know adults make comments like this thinking that it’s motivational and empowering...but it’s wrong.  Teenagers aren’t the future.  Teenagers are the church of today and need to be viewed and treated like the church of today.  Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me when you’re an adult.” Teenagers may scare some adults in the church, but they’re dying for somebody to notice and to love them.  Sam you noticed them and you loved them.  And I’m forever thankful that you did.  So are they. 

I’m giving thanks for Sam and praying that the God of comfort will fill the unspeakable pain his family are feeling with his loving presence. I’m praying that they will all know the nearness of Jesus as they experience the missingness of Sam in the days to come. 

So, to anyone who might be reading this who was a part of 'the.element' youth club during my time as a youth worker in Saintfield, or to those of you who might have been involved in more recent days, let’s remember and as we remember lets give thanks and in our remembering consider these words from Frederick Buechner.   

"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you can remember me, I am never entirely lost."
Frederick Buechner (author, theologian and preacher).

Sam Carlisle... what a mark you have left on us.  

Do Not Be Afraid

These are strange and unsettling times we find ourselves in, and we are all adjusting to a new reality.  I’ve been concerned about our young people and the impact all of this is having on them, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I’ve been trying to find ways (via Instagram and Zoom etc.) to offer some comfort and hope in the midst of the fear, confusion and anxiety that has accompanied this pandemic.     

Lets think about Fear for a moment.  Fear is a huge motivator in life for almost all of us.  Just think about it…Fear sells.  Fear gets votes, (Brexit anyone?).  Fear boosts TV news ratings.  Fear grabs attention in the news feeds. 

Today, this world is a pretty scary place.  Fear is all around us.  There is a lot of uncertainty about what is going to happen, we are on lockdown, and terms such as social distancing, and self isolation have entered our daily lexicon.  Many people are feeling anxious and afraid about the impact of Covid-19 on their lives and the lives of their family and friends. And that is all totally understandable. 

At our last youth group gathering before the lockdown commenced, I was teaching about fear and I used a quote from Psychologist Vanessa Lapointe, “Our brains are wired to be Velcro to the negative and Teflon to the positive.  I often explain this as our ‘sticky tricky brain’ because it typically leads us to catastrophize things, having them feel much scarier and more overwhelming than normal.” 

We were all shocked at the "Coronapanic" being reported in the media as people started panic buying and stockpiling certain items, but knowing that our sticky tricky brain can lead people to castrophize things, then we can at least begin to understand how fear drives such behaviour.  And this catastrophizing tendency is certainly not helped by the daily “Coronafeed” and doesn’t it also seem like everyone on social media these days has become an epidemiologist... right!?  

If our brains are ‘Velcro to the negative’ then there is a strong case here for limiting our daily media intake and the time we spend on social media.    

Don’t get me wrong I am not trivializing the seriousness of this pandemic at all, it is absolutely right to be concerned, but I am arguing that we have to do something about the increased levels of fear and anxiety that we or others might be experiencing at present. 

Undoubtedly, there are times when a healthy type of fear can be helpful.  But a lot of the time/most of the time, fear is harmful.  Fear can be overwhelming and we can feel like we are buried in our fear.  It can keep you imprisoned.

Fear can also be like a wall, isolating us from other people and from God because we don’t allow them to enter into our fear.  And this is perhaps even more harmful in a time of social distancing and isolation.

So let’s bring the Bible into this mix of fear and worry.  From the first book of the Bible till the last book of the Bible, 209 times in between, God comes with this message to humanity, “Don’t be afraid.”  Now please understand, the Bible is never calling you ignorant or irrational if you are afraid. The Bible gives situations where fears ARE well-founded—but then it says, don’t be afraid.

One such incident is found Matthew 14:22-33.  The story takes place in the NW corner of the Sea of Galilee. It immediately follows the feeding of the 5,000 and Jesus sends his disciples off across the lake while He stays to pray.  Lets look at a few verses:  

Matthew 14: 23-27 (NIV)

23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

From that evening around 6pm the disciples are struggling out on the lake and this lasted until the 4th watch or somewhere between 3am and 6am.  This would mean the rowing effort lasted about 9-12 hours.  Then Jesus walks out to them on the water and they assume he is a ghost,  it is easier to accept why they came to this conclusion when we understand that for the Jewish people of Jesus’ day deeper bodies of water were often associated with the Abyss or Hell.

All three of the gospel accounts say the men were “terrified” and it is understandable given their historical and cultural context, and what they have physically and mentally endured all night. 

All three gospel accounts record Jesus as saying: “Take courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”  The phrase It is I … literally means “I AM”.  And being good Jewish men this should have taken their minds to Job 9:8: “who alone stretched out the heavens and trampled the waves of the sea;…”

In the teeth of a storm they would learn that Jesus is still God whether we are on land or sea, in troubles or in good times, huddled together and hugging the boat, or like Peter adventuring out where no person (apart from Jesus) has gone before.

This post is to remind you of what the disciples discovered in that storm… God is with you and He will not leave.  He’s there to stay.  His voice still cuts through terrible storms, and calls through disaster, through grief, through viruses and pandemics, and even through death itself, and says, “Don’t be afraid.”

Given the day that’s in it, here is a verse we need to lock into our heads and hearts: “Do not be afraid for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you.  I will help you.  I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

So how do we move on from our fear?  I think a key step is remembering who we are, or better still, whose we are. 2 Timothy 1:7 reminds us that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 

So if we’re going to defeat fear in our lives, we have to know Jesus. If we know Him more, our fear becomes weaker and weaker.  Jesus is our courage.  Jesus is our comfort.  So mind yourself, stay safe, be excellent to yourself and others, and don’t be afraid. 

The Leadership Journey Podcast

Some of you may remember that for the past few years I've been studying for a Masters in Transformational Leadership with the Irish Bible Institute.  When I started this course I never could have envisaged the journey taking quite as long as it has, but I was broadsided by illness and that has made this a longer and more difficult journey than I ever could have imagined.  But I am happy to report that I have now completed my study and research, and it really does feel like a milestone and an achievement given the challenges of the last couple of years.  

It will soon be three years since I first collapsed and life was turned upside down with illness and all the uncertainty that accompanied it.  I will post a fuller update very soon on how I'm doing, but for now I'll simply say I'm doing and feeling the best I've felt in the last three years.  I'm so thankful, and it really is an answer to prayer!  Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me and to everyone who has stood by me and my family throughout this dark and difficult time.  

So yes, completing my dissertation does feel like something of a milestone on the healing road.  And my experiences over the past three years certainly had an influence on the subject of my research.  The title of my dissertation is:

Surviving and thriving in Christian leadership. What are the self-care practices and support strategies that leaders serving in the Presbyterian Church in Ireland have found helpful for sustaining health, wholeness and leadership in the context of the stresses of ministry?

As a small scale research project I focused on my leadership context: the PCI, but the issues, practices and principles are relevant and applicable in any ministry and leadership context.  I'm absolutely convinced that the key to healthy effective ministries are healthy and effective leaders.  Leaders who understand that leadership is more about who they are than what they do.  I was keen to explore the raw experiences of leadership and the challenges and stressors that leaders encounter.  And I ultimately wanted to identify what is it that leaders can and must do to sustain effective long-term ministry; looking at self-care/self-leadership, balance and nurturing resilience.

This is not about self-indulgence or self-fulfilment rather it is about ensuring healthy, sustainable self-sacrifice.  To quote Parker Palmer: "Self-care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others."  

I had the privilege of sitting down and chatting about my research with Dr Alan Wilson for his excellent Leadership Journey Podcast series.  Alan was my research supervisor and I'm immensely grateful for his support, guidance and feedback throughout this process.  He has a wealth of leadership knowledge and insight, and  I'm convinced that he has probably forgotten more about leadership than I'll ever know.  His website and podcast is a tremendous resource.  

If you would like to listen to our conversation about my research you'll find it here: The Leadership Journey Podcast.  You can also access the podcast via apple podcasts and on Spotify.  It is my hope that it is helpful and encouraging to all of you in ministry and leadership roles.   

Top Ten Movies Of Twenty19

I didn't get to see many movies this year, but I did catch a few and here are the ten that I enjoyed the most: 

Star Wars - The Rise Of Skywalker

The saga comes to an end with The Rise Of Skywalker.  Is it the best Star Wars movie?  No, it is not even the best of the Star Wars movies released in the last few years, that honour goes to Rogue One.  It is however the best of the final trilogy in the Skywalker storyline.  It felt like Star Wars again (I still have mixed feelings about The Last Jedi), yes it serviced the fans but it was right that it should.  The Kylo Ren storyline was superbly resolved, there was redemption, and a climatic ending.  And Chewie finally got his medal!  Talitha and I loved it!  There is rumour of an even longer JJ Abrams cut, which would be interesting to see.

 

The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then The Bigfoot

A wonderfully melancholic movie with a world weary performance from the brilliant Sam Elliott.  A real gem of a movie, if you haven't seen it you really should.  

 

Apollo 11

Quite simply a stunning piece of cinema.  The use of archive footage and an exhilarating soundtrack composed on synths and mellotrons from the time period, make this a fitting celebration of the Apollo 11 moon landing.  It is edge of the seat stuff!

 

Joker

So much has been written about this movie, it certainly is a fascinating take on the Joker origin story.  And it is driven by an incredible performance from Joaquin Pheonix, who I think is probably the finest actor of his generation.  

 

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum 

Keanu Reeves is one of my faves and he is better than ever in the John Wick series of movies.  They have emerged as a consistently brilliant set of action movies, Chapter 3 continues the breathlessly executed chaos.  

 

It Chapter Two

I'm a Stephen King fan, and cinema has not always served his material well.  But the IT movies have been one of the more successful endeavours.  Chapter One is the better film of the two but this is a superb conclusion to the story.  
 

 

Avengers: Endgame 

The action doesn't get any bigger than this as Marvel wraps up this epic storyline.

 

Blinded By The Light 

Just managed to catch this wonderful film.  Springsteen was the soundtrack to my teenage years also so this one is pretty special.  The feel good movie of the year! 

 

Stan & Ollie 

A touching and heartwarming movie about the greatest comedy double act of them all.  Coogan and Reilly are amazing to watch as they take on the roles of Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy.  

 

Bruce Springsteen - Western Stars

Bruce did not tour his latest record he released a cinematic version.  It is beautifully shot and the spoken word vignettes are mediative and bring depth and weight to the songs.  It made me appreciate the Western Stars album even more.  

 

  

 

 

My Top Albums Of The Decade

A decade has come to an end and I've been looking back over my year end lists and revisiting my favourite albums of the Twenty10s.  I've already posted the Twenty19 albums so for this post I've gone into the archives and included the top two albums for each year... so here are the other eighteen of my top albums of the past ten years, it is always interesting looking back and seeing how albums have endured the test of time: 

2010

The Manic Street Preachers - Postcards From A Young Man 

The Manics have an incredible ability to make intelligent, literate and often political rock music that is intensely melodic and still manages to provoke.  They summed up the times back in 1998 with ‘This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours’  it was probably their big mass communication moment.   Bassist Nicky Wire described ‘Postcards’ as ‘one last attempt at mass communication’, and it was an album that deserved to be heard by the masses.  It sounds glorious, triumphant and oh yes... defiant!  ‘This life it sucks your principles away, you have to fight against it every single day’ ...‘This world will not impose its will I will not give up and I will not give in’!  (Postcards From A Young Man).  The Manics have raged on, thankfully it wasn't their last shot but Postcards From A Young Man remains one of their very best. 

 

Wovenhand – The Threshingfloor

I’ve been an admirer of David Eugene Edwards work since his Sixteen Horsepower days.  Wovenhand was originally a side project but following the demise of 16HP it has now become his main band.  The Threshingfloor was their sixth album.  A synthesis of native American, middle eastern and celtic folk channelled through a rock band, no other band sounds like them, with Edwards presiding over the sound with the fervour of a Pentecostal preacher.  

 

2011

The Decemberists - The King Is Dead

I loved their previous folk inspired records.  They even released a prog/folk-rock opera 'The Hazards Of Love'.  But With the King Is Dead rather than more of the same they stripped it back and produced one of their most accessible records.  It reminds me of early R.E.M. (Peter Buck even makes an appearance).

 

Snow Patrol - Fallen Empires.  

I've confessed to ignoring Snow Patrol until they caught my attention with 'A Hundred Million Suns', they had impressed me at their Ward Park gig in Bangor a few years ago but they won me over with Fallen Empires!  It is a stunning record, and it has stood the test of time well. 

 

My Top Twenty Albums of Twenty19

These are my favourite records from the year that was Twenty19.  

I always find it hard to make the final cut so here are a few worthy contenders that merit mention: 

Over The Rhine - Love & Revelation

Their latest record is a thing of beauty: melancholy, melody, grace & a lot of love. A revelation indeed!

 

Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors – Dragons

A wonderful voice and a superb slice of Americana.  Positive and uplifting, this is a record that is good for your soul. 

 

Dermot Kennedy – Without Fear

That glorious voice was honed busking on the streets of Dublin.  Echoes of early David Gray and we love that he sings in his own accent.  A talent to watch. 

 

David Gray – Gold in a Brass Age

Speaking of David Gray…. back in the mid 90s I was living in Dun Laoghaire & the Dublin music scene was buzzing about this singer songwriter called David Gray. It’s fair to say we (in Ireland) saw the genius of David Gray long before anywhere else. His live performances were simply stunning; I remember seeing him and his drummer ‘Clune’ play Temple Bar in Dublin: that gig remains in my top 10 best ever concerts. His first three albums: A Century Ends / Flesh / Sell, Sell, Sell are dylanesque & showcase his wonderful turn of phrase & the power of that voice of his; they are still my favourite David Gray albums. His fourth album White Ladder was something of a reinvention and the rest of the world finally caught on. Gold In A Brass Age might just be his best since White Ladder. It is an atmospheric, abstract & richly textured record that demonstrates his impeccable song craft.  This is a record that you need to get lost in a few times to fully appreciate.

 

Noah Gundersen – Lover

Over the last few records Noah has experimented with his sound, and his last album White Noise in particular was a departure from the mainly acoustic sound that marked his music up to that point.  Lover is in many ways a synthesis of everything he has been doing, and if you need a label I don’t think confessional pop is too far off the mark.  But for me it really shines when he strips it all back to just that acoustic guitar and his voice. 

 

KXM – Circle of Dolls

This band comprises Korn drummer Ray Luzier, King's X bassist/vocalist dUg Pinnick and Lynch Mob/ex-Dokken guitarist George Lynch.   With a pedigree like that you know this is going to be a solid side project.  This is their third album together  and as with previous projects there is no pre-production, they gather in the studio over the course of two weeks.  And then they write a song per day.  The end result is a hard hitting collection of rock music. Any opportunity to hear Dug sing is a good thing so this record is a bit of an appetizer for the next King’s X record hopefully dropping in 2020. 

 

Come On Up To The House - Women Sing Waits 

Few writers have managed to articulate the longing and brokenness at the heart of humanity quite like Tom Waits. He celebrated his 70th birthday in 2019, and this is a stunning tribute to his genius. Some of the very finest female artists interpret his songs, and it’s a gorgeous thing. Highlights for me: Joseph’s take on Come On Up To The House, Phoebe Bridgers - Georgia Lee, Angie McMahon’s - Take It With Me, and Courtney Marie Andrews - Downtown Train. In truth there is not a duff track on this record, it’s one of the most beautiful albums released in Twenty19.

 

So, here we go with the countdown of my Top Twenty: 

[Twenty]

Thom Yorke - Anima

It has been said that anxiety is the official emotion of our age, Anima reflects that, it is a soundtrack for the times we’re in. Thom Yorke has been using electronic music with Radiohead for years now, but he dives deeper with it in his solo projects and this time around I think he has come up with his most compelling & convincing solo record yet. Themes of dystopia and the dehumanizing impact of technology are explored and I love the melancholic, glitchy dreamlike atmosphere he creates. It’s fascinating stuff. As is the Paul Thomas Anderson short film of Anima on Netflix - a brilliant visualization of Thom Yorke’s music.

 

[Nineteen] 

Air Review - How We Got By

It has been six years since Air Review released the Low Wishes album. It was a brilliant slice of infectious indie rock/pop. For their new record they have reinvented their sound with atmospheric, melancholic, synth-pop. And it is the perfect musical canvas for these songs. The album is inspired by grief and loss: Air Review frontman Doug Hale lost custody of a baby his family had been fostering for a year, and all the members of the band experienced tremendous loss in various ways over the last six years. 
Life is not all delight and joy... sometimes it hurts bad. But sorrow can give us a different perspective... a sad face is good for the heart. How We Got By doesn’t give pat answers, rather it honestly faces the reality of loss and is a reminder of how important it is to process things emotionally. But don’t think this album must be a downer! It doesn’t wallow in the sadness at all, neither does it descend into hopelessness: these are songs of resilience! They have given us a cathartic and beautiful record. 

 

[Eighteen]

Bill Mallonee - Lead On, Kindly Light & This World And One More

Bill is one of the most prolific songwriters and artists I have ever come across, there is no one else like him.  I don't know how he keeps managing to come up with projects like this.  But I'm so glad he does!  I've followed his work since his days with the Vigilantes of Love, one of the finest rock bands to come out of the 90s.  He has never lost that lyrical touch with a turn of phrase, one day they'll all catch on and realise the man was as good as Dylan.  This record is a double album and with all his projects it has been a labour of love, you know that he has been meticulous about every note, and every lyric.  At moments there is Neil Young vibe to this one, the track The Light Within might be the best Neil track that Neil has never written.  Those honey guitar tones Bill creates are sublime.  Bill has said that this might be his first headphones album, it is certainly one that keeps revealing new tones and textures with repeated listens.  

 

[Seventeen] 

Angie McMahon - Salt 

I discovered Angie McMahon via the Women Sing Wait album, and her version of Take It With Me, is one of the standout tracks on that record.  This young Australian women has a voice and a maturity to her song craft that is beyond her years.    

 

[Sixteen]

Sam Wickens - All I’ve Seen  

Sam Wickens hails from Bangor, Northern Ireland and he has given us a beautiful and assured debut album. Yet more evidence of how rich and vibrant our local music scene is right now. What a voice! the Jeff Buckley, Hozier comparisons are entirely justified. There is a lot of soul in his indie folk wrapped in haunting and hypnotic electronica. Sublime stuff! 

 

[Fifteen] 

The Head And The Heart - Living Mirage

Their last album Signs Of Life marked a move in a more mainstream direction and while I thoroughly enjoyed it I did miss the rootsy indie-folk sound of their first two records. Yes, Living Mirage continues in the radio friendly direction but it sounds more assured, less glossy and the indie-folk roots shine through more clearly. The Head and The Heart have given us a joyous record; all heart and packed with infectious melodies, quality songwriting and those gorgeous layered harmonies. It even gives a nod to Fleetwood Mac and eighties era Springsteen.

 

[Fourteen]

Coldplay - Everyday Life 

I've struggled to make a connection with the last few Coldplay albums, I tried but they just didn't have staying power.  From my perspective Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends was their last truly great album, Everyday Life is their best since then.  Experimental, anthemic, and uplifting.  My one criticism though is too much swearing, I'm not talking about the soundbites, and I'm certainly not squeamish when it comes to language, I'm talking about Chris Martin's repeated use of the F bomb on Guns, it just sounds forced, out of place and unnecessary, ruins one of the best tracks on the album.  That mild niggle aside this was an album that really surprised me and grabbed my attention. 

 

[Thirteen]

Michael Kiwanuka - Kiwanuka

There is a timeless quality to Kiwanuka, an emotive album packed with soul, gospel, funkedlica and some wonderful vintage guitars.  This is a proper immersive listening experience.  Michael Kiwanuka said the record is “a reaction against this fast-paced, throwaway, machine-led world.”  It is and it is wonderful!

 

[Twelve]  

Rival Sons - Feral Roots 

Rival Sons have been around for the past decade, but this was the year I discovered them, how could I have been so long coming to the party.  This is Zeppelin-esque blues-infused rock at its very finest!

 

[Eleven]

Runabay - Between The Lines

I’ve been enjoying this one a lot since it dropped at the start of the summer. Runabay are a local band with roots in the Glens of Antrim, and there is a wonderful trad tinged undercurrent to their lush indie folk sound. With infectious melodies, rich harmonies and an opening track featuring Dublin Poet Stephen James Smith, it’s one of the most beautiful records I’ve heard this year. It is also more evidence of the genius and richness of our local music scene.

 

[Ten]

Josh Ritter - Fever Breaks

A new record from Josh Ritter is always very welcome, and this one is hot on the heels of his terrific 2017 album: Gathering.  I’ve been looking forward to Fever Breaks not only because it is a new Ritter album but also because this time around he’s enlisted Jason Isbell for production duties.  Isbell and his band The 400 Unit also provide the swagger to some of Josh Ritter’s most rocking tunes yet.  Josh sounds like he is reenergised and having a blast recording this one. There is a Springsteen/Dylanesque vibe to the proceedings, and Ritter’s lyrical genius shines through on every track, he also doesn’t shy away from hitting some of the political/social issues of our times. The man has never made a bad album, and on the strength of this first spin I’d say Fever Breaks is up there with his very best work.  We saw him play in Dublin during the summer and he was outstanding. 

 

 

[Nine]

Tyler Ramsey - For The Morning

For ten years Tyler was the lead guitarist for Band Of Horses. I saw them live a couple of times during this period and I loved what he brought to the band musically, vocally & as a song writer, (as well as that very fine head of long hair & impressive beard). I’ve thoroughly enjoyed his solo albums too - For The Morning is his new record and it is surely one of the most gorgeous albums we heard in Twenty19. It is a warm, lush, contemplative record with exquisite guitar playing and that wonderful melancholic voice of his. 

 

[Eight]

The Orphan Brigade - To The Edge Of The World

The Orphan Brigade make albums on location. Their first was recorded in a haunted Kentucky mansion, the second in medieval Italian caves.  The Edge Of The World was written and recorded on the County Antrim coast here in Northern Ireland.   One of the band members, Ben Glover hails from Glenarm. The album is populated with characters, legends and stories from the rich history of the north coast.  Rootsy Americana with a northcoast twist.

 

[Seven]

Bruce Springsteen - Western Stars 

This one has been on constant rotation since its release.  When I first heard Bruce was releasing a solo album I was anticipating/hoping for a return to the sparse, stripped back sound of Nebraska (my all time favourite Springsteen record), even the title ‘Western Stars’ suggested a return to the stark canyons & arroyos of The Ghost Of Tom Joad.  But his return out West wasn’t what I was expecting at all.  It’s Bruce at his storytelling best, but he has never made a record that sounds as cinematic as Western Stars does! His cast of world weary characters, those familiar themes of isolation and community are wrapped in lush sweeping orchestral arrangements.  Bruce is singing like a bird and it’s perhaps the best sounding record he has ever made!  Springsteen is surely the only artist/storyteller who can fill that Johnny Cash shaped gap in American music. And like Cash he looks set to make some of his most compelling work in the later stages of his career.  Western Stars is a brilliant surprise, I got the movie of the live performance of the record for Christmas and it has only deepened my appreciation of the album.  The live album itself even surpasses the studio version.  

 

[Six]

Buddy & Julie Miller - Breakdown on 20th Ave. South

I first heard Julie Miller at the Greenbelt festival back in ‘93.  Backed by husband Buddy she captured the attention and the hearts of everyone at the main stage that night.  She has released a series of brilliant albums over the years, likewise Buddy who also happens to be one of the finest guitar players of all time.  So when they collaborate it’s always been something wondrous. It’s been ten years since their last album, in that time Julie has battled illness, depression and loss.  The songs that have emerged from this period are resilient, and cathartic.  Songs of love, loss, faith & devotion.  The vulnerability in their delicate harmonies is something to behold!  And Buddy creates the atmospherics and textures with his guitar genius. One reviewer said: “Breakdown on 20th Ave. South, is a very welcome reminder of Julies gentle strengths and singular voice. We need her in these days.”  He nailed it! We do need her, it’s a welcome return for them both with one of this year’s best albums.

 

[Five]

Joseph - Good Luck, Kid

The sound that these three sisters create has evolved over their last two records: Native Dreamer Kin and I’m Alone, No You’re Not.  It might have all started with intimate indie-folk but Good Luck, Kid takes it up a gear. There are some gorgeous hushed moments but mostly it sounds lush and Big... Florence + the machine big in parts... these are songs born for the arenas.  At the heart of it all though remains those blood harmonies... as beautiful a sound as you could ever hear.  And of course there’s the quality of the songs themselves... songs about fighting for what’s important and figuring out the complexities of life.  It’s a strong set of songs, packed with hooks & infectious melodies, you can’t help wanting to belt them out at the top of your lungs.  And belt them out we did when we saw them play in Dublin back in November.  

 

[Four]

Mark Lanegan Band - Somebody’s Knocking

One of my favourite voices, and what a voice it is sounding just as brooding, gritty, melancholic and world weary as ever.  The man rarely puts a foot wrong and Somebody’s Knocking is one of his strongest records yet.  It’s an album rich in imagery and he captures something of the isolation and darkness of our times.  But this is also a record you can dance to, wearing its Joy Division, New Order and electronica influence proudly on its sleeve.   A gothic rock album packed with rousing tunes, and also some moments of poignancy and vulnerability.

 

[Three]

Glen Hansard - This Wild Willing

This was one of the albums I was most looking forward to in Twenty19 it did not disappointed!  I’ve had it on constant rotation and the result is that I think it is Glen’s best solo album yet. This Wild Willing is darker and much more experimental than his previous solo releases. To my ears it echos the feel of Burn The Maps or For The Birds by The Frames, with tracks like ‘I’ll Be You Be Me’ building from a hushed intimacy to a swirling majestic sound. It is quite simply a stunning collection of songs; a record that reveals sonic and lyrical depths with every spin.  We saw him play live twice this year and in that setting the songs establish themselves along with the best of his solo and Frames work.  Next up is the Frames 30th Anniversary celebration in Dublin in 2020!  I'm still holding out for another Frames album one of these years.

 

[Two]

The Murder Capital - When I have Fears

Post punk is alive and well in Dublin, there’s been a rich revival of guitar bands recently. But it is The Murder Capital that grabbed my attention. When I Have Fears is one of the most satisfying and exciting debut albums I’ve heard in a long time!  A poetic, emotional reflection on life, death and grief.  It’s quite simply stunning. And I love that early U2 vibe that to these ears runs through the record.  This was my record of the summer and it got me through some long days of reading and research.  

 

[One] 

Zach Winters – Love Is A Garden

Every now and then a record comes along just when you need it most; it reminds you of hope and brings a little comfort in sound.  Love Is A Garden is such an album.  I love the sound Zach Winters creates: hushed and intimate,  yet at the same time it is abounding in rich layers and textures.  I’ve also said that there is a subtle Sufjan-esque feel to what he does, which is a very good thing indeed.  The musicianship and production on Love is a Garden is impeccable,  Zach recorded the album while he and his family spent a year living in Mexico, and maybe that change in location contributes the brighter, looser feel to the sound. And he makes some gorgeous use of horns on this record.  The songwriting is thoughtful and intelligent, and he also lets that Winters wit and humour shine through. 

Zach played Belfast in 2019 and he was superb, if you were there that night you’ll remember how he took a crowd of people who were probably mostly unfamiliar with his work and brought them in close, I can’t recall a gig with a better atmosphere than that night in the American Bar.  Here’s hoping Zach will return to play on these shores again in 2020, until then Love Is A Garden is a Garden to get lost in. Album of the year!     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playlist Twenty19

At the end of each year I have a tradition of posting my favourite movies, TV shows, books and music from that year.  I’m late getting to it on this occasion as I’ve been focused on completing a dissertation.  And because that research project has taken up most of my free time this year I’ve not had time to read anything other than books about leadership, burnout and resilience. Nor have I been able to get to the cinema, so I’ve a lot of catching up to do.  I’ll skip the books, movie and TV lists this year and get straight to the music because music has remained my therapy, so here we go…

I’ll start with the playlist of my favourite tracks from Twenty19. (You can also find the Spotify playlist at the bottom of this post... enjoy!) 

“The music, while it lasted, brought a new world into being.” Wendell Berry

 

01  Joseph – Fighter  (from the album: Good Luck Kid)

02  The Murder Capital – Green & Blue (from the album: When I Have Fears)

03  Coldplay – Champion Of The World (from the album: Everyday Life)

04  U2 & A.R. Rahman – Ahimsa (Single)

05  The Head and the Heart – People Need A Melody (from the album: Living Mirage)

06  Tyler Ramsey – A Dream of Home (from the album: For the Morning)

07  Snow Patrol – I Think of Home (from the album: Reworked)

08  Zach Winters – Hold Me (January Drifts) (from the album: Love is a Garden)

09  Noah Gundersen – Wild Horses (from the album: Lover)

10  Michael Kiwanuka – I’ve Been Dazed (from the album: Kiwanuka)

11  Angie McMahon – Keeping Tme (from the album: Salt)

12  Rival Sons – Shooting Stars (from the album: Feral Roots)

13  Mark Lanegan – Gazing From The Shore (from the album: Somebody’s Knocking)

14  KXM – Twice (from the album: Circle of Dolls)

15  Hot Water Music – Shake Up The Shadows (from the EP: Shake Up The Shadows)

16  The Alarm – Psalm (from the album: Sigma)

17  Dermot Kennedy – Outnumbered (from the album: Without Fear)

18  David Gray – The Sapling (from the album: Gold in a Brass Age)

19  Sam Wickens – Cliffside (from the album: All I’ve Seen)

20  Air Review – Bobby (from the album: How We Got By)

21  Thom Yorke – Twist (from the album: Anima)

22  Glen Hansard – Don’t Settle (from the album: This Wild Willing)

23  Runabay – Dig (from the album: Between the Lines)

24  The Orphan Brigade – Under the Chestnut Tree (from the album: To the Edge of the World)

25  Buddy & Julie Miller – Underneath the Sky (from the album: Breakdown on 20th Ave. South)

26  Bruce Springsteen – Tucson Train (from the album: Western Stars)

27  Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors – End of the World (from the album:  Dragons)

28  Sturgill Simpson – Sing Along (from the album: Sound & Fury)

29  Neil Young & Crazy Horse – Green is Blue (from the album: Colorado)

30  Josh Ritter – Blazing Highway Home (from the album: Fever Breaks)

31  Bill Mallonee – Lead On, Kindly Light (from the album: Lead On, Kindly Light and This World & One More)

32  Over The Rhine – Let You Down (from the album: Love & Revelation)

33  Joseph – Come On Up To The House (from the album: Women Sing Waits)

 

Next up... my Top Twenty Albums of Twenty19.

Merry Christmas

Exam Results Day - My Message To Our Young People

It is exam results day; many of you have been waiting for this day all summer.  We've been waiting and anticipating this day in our family too.  

Your results matter!  They matter to you and you matter to us.  So we want you to know that we are praying for you today.   If the results are what you hoped for – well done!  Congratulations!  If they are not what you expected – don’t panic!  Get advice and support, there will be lots of options.  We're here to listen and support you.   

We want you to know that we are immensely proud of you!  You have demonstrated huge amounts of commitment throughout your exams as you gave your best to achieve your potential.   However, we are concerned that these results do not assess or reflect all of what it is that makes each of you special and unique.

The grades you got today will tell you something but they will not tell you everything, so do try to remember that your worth is not determined by a grade no matter what it is. 

Love one another, encourage one another and genuinely delight in the success of others too.   Celebrate healthily, sensitively and well!  We can’t wait to see you for an amazing year of youth ministry at Fitzroy.  Enjoy the rest of your summer break.   

Awaiting Exam Results

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.” 1 Peter 1:3–4

I've been thinking about our young people who are awaiting their A Level results today.  Next week it will be the turn of those awaiting GCSE results.  It is a stressful time of waiting, worrying, anticipating.  I read these verses this morning and they  are a great reminder that though we live in a world that often bases worth and identity on achievement and success we have a different perspective: our identity is based on Jesus, not on what we do or what we achieve.  This is an everyday truth that we need to continually be reminded of.  In the light of it here is what I want to say to our young people today... we don’t define ourselves by our exam results!  You are more than that grade (whatever it was).  

I've sat a few exams in my time and I've always found exams scary, right now I'm trying to finish a Masters and I often feel overwhelmed and out of my depth.  The truth is that exams do seem like an awfully big deal at the time, bigger than anything we’ve done before.  And yes while they are important, the truth is in a few years you’ll probably not even remember how you did, the memory of those grades will fade.  These verses from Peter are a shot of encouragement: we have a durable, reliable living hope, an inheritance that that will never fade away.

If you are celebrating success today we are celebrating with you.  Achieving the best of your potential is something to be celebrated, so celebrate healthily, sensitively and well!  We love you and we are proud of you!

If things didn’t go as well as you had hoped, don’t panic! Your disappointment is real but it is not final!  It does not determine your worth.  You are loved and you don’t have to go through this alone.  Get support, and some perspective, there will be many options, this is not the end of the road.  You might have failed an exam (or didn’t get the grades you wanted) but remember YOU are not a failure, you have a future.  We love you and we are proud of you!

Here is a prayer for all of you whether you are celebrating or considering the next steps. 

Jesus,

Keep reminding me of the bigger picture over the next few weeks,

Keep me in your hands when all other hands disappear,

For I am convinced that neither entry requirements nor exam results,

neither anticipation nor doubts, neither success nor failure, nor any expectations,

neither last minute fears nor anxieties, nor anything else in life, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Please, don’t let me forget it!

Amen

(Prayer, written by a gap-year student when receiving her A Level results.  Issued by the Church of England 2016)